Simplicity - Simply ME

Going dormant for a while

2011-06-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

I'm going to leave this space dormant for a while.

This is supposedly a green growing ground for me to expand and grow. Right now, I'm heading to another direction - the direction of my another blog.

I might return, I might not. I don't know.

The Time Of The Month

2011-04-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

It all started with the text.

Me: I can't come today. It's the time of the month. I'll see you on Friday.

Guy: Ok. Thanks. .................... What is the time of the month?

Me: O_O!!! (He didn't know??!!)

(Text back) Think strawberry jam.

Guy: Oh! That's my favourite spread.

Me: -__-||

(Text back) The incident that only happen to females.

Guy: oh..... I know what you mean now.

Seriously, what else could it mean? It only means one thing and THAT thing only.

Yet today I have encountered a guy friend who doesn't know about "the time of the month", neither does he know about "strawberry jam". Of course, for guys who don't know about it are confirmed ---- straight guys.

Scam Email on Hotmail

2011-03-03T21:33:00.000-08:00

To that I replied:

Be Nice No More

2011-01-31T04:59:00.000-08:00

I don't want to be nice anymore! *Stomp feet*

I want to bully others in return!

I want to make others cry!

Ya, if I dare to do all that la.

Right now not yet.

Maybe one day?

I Want A Break

2011-01-15T21:24:00.000-08:00

T_T the workload has taken a troll on me.

I hate the endless problem solving and definitely do not like the EVERYTHING IS URGENT.

I appreciate buffer time for me to work things out. TQVM.

I am looking forward to the day that I could arrange a break time for myself. My neck is getting longer with the waiting. *Cry*

Not treating me right, not letting me leave

2011-01-06T03:11:00.000-08:00

You don't brush my fur,

You don't refill my Whiskers,

You don't throw me yarns,

You don't respond to my meow.

Of course I get angry. What do you think I am? Robot?!

More over you still use harsh tone on me! *Cat claws out*

Ok, I am not going to scratch you (just yet) because you are under the weather and you aren't well. I still have a heart.

BUT

I am leaving!

Then you say you are sorry and ask me not to be angry.

How can I stay angry when someone has already apologized.

What now?

I am still staring at an empty bowl,

I am still meowing to myself,

I am still .....................

HAI!!!

Not solving anything!

Bye 2010... Hello 2011

2011-01-01T19:13:00.000-08:00

2010 had been a really busy year for me (so busy that I haven't had anytime else for anything other than work) and very fruitful too

1. I got into the kind of corporation that I always dream of.

One word: SUPERB

2. I stood up for myself against nasty people.

Just because I look timid and nice doesn't mean anyone can simply walk over me like I don'tfeel a thing.

I am glad that I decided to walk away. They weren't nice to begin with and definitely not a role model to the kind of person I want to be.

3. I met my twin.

(more on this when time is right)

4. I finally did what I intend to DIY.

My bunny ears.

My ribbon necklace.
5. I took up extra work and that helps in my income.

More money to buy ojipala. Girls.... you know how it is like.

6. I attended a course and found out what I am really good at.

I get to know myself a lot better. So it is all good.

7. I met quite a number of gentlemen – guys who are just so nice to me.

They are sooooo nice! Oh my gosh. So kind and sweet! They are so protective of me. So heroic. Melted.

8. I made a few great decisions and not to listen to my ego speaking.

I can be pretty ego driven at times. I am so glad that I could and able to choose a path that is against my ego's choice. Turned out to be the best decisions ever!

9. I coloured my hair.

It took me a long time to decide to colour my hair again. My hair isn't exactly the best type to do a lot of things to. It will just break and die.

But this time round, my hair is healthier than ever. I am going to play around with colours. Smile. Because of my skin tone and height and skinny figure, everybody thought that I am a Korean mixed. LOL None of them think that I am pretty much a local chic.

10. I met my travelling partner.

Let me tell you, I am so blessed to have found a permanent travelling partner, who is so sweet and tolerated my diet requirement, plus accepting that I like skulls, goth, mad cuteness, dancing and get crazy.

***************************************************

You really have to move out of the box and live life differently to taste all that life could offer. <---- my conclusion for my 2010.

There were down times, I swear it out and move on. 2011, I am going to do better, less swearing..... more happy times :))))))))))))

Ciao! Love you all.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-19T23:53:00.001-08:00

DSC04577-1, originally uploaded by kkmakwy.

I am HIGH on Christmas festive air!!!

Weeeeeeee......................

What are you lovelies wishing for from Santa?

I hope I have been GOOD this year to get my present!!!

My New Eyebrow

2010-12-14T00:14:00.001-08:00

DSC04555, originally uploaded by kkmakwy.

Yeah it is new.

I trim the end, so it is less "arch"

Like it?

Mckenzie is MISSING

2010-10-06T04:10:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to bring Mckenzie to see the vet today.

She is missing.

I have been searching around the neighbourhood. No luck.

I was supposed to sit put at JayJay's place to wait for him to come back and look for her. I did, but only for a while. My panic attack was about to start again, so I have to make a move. I have to do something else. I have to keep myself occupied.

Catnip was busy fixing computer. So I can't chat with Catnip.

I went to work instead.

The Parting

2010-10-05T14:07:00.001-07:00

My part was missing in action for a good couple of hours yesterday. I thought I would be fine. But I wasn't.

I started to panic. Crazy thoughts of what-could-have-happened racing through my mind.

It was so bad.

I kept on having this cold shiver and a little shaky. I couldn't breathe properly.

The whole thing brought me back to the moment when I was losing Tabby. I couldn't work in peace. I still couldn't be in peace with her death (I have now found out).

I could go through the whole thing, trying to see what I could have done to avoid the whole thing.

I know she had to go. She (in some ways) told me that she had to go. She had tried her best to ease the departure by holding her breath and waited for me to be there to bid me goodbye and to tell me that she loved me. She had done her best. I haven't done my best.

It was so hard for me to say, "baby, if you have to go, go..." She took her last breath only when I said that in my head. I couldn't say it out loud. I couldn't come to terms that I could NEVER stroke her fur again; I could NEVER hold her again; I could NEVER hear her sweet call again; I could NEVER get bugged by her to go to bed on time again; I could NEVER ........... (endless).

The same NEVER NEVER NEVER went through my head for my missing part. I thought my heart was going to stop.

That's when my phone went beeping, signalling for incoming message.

My part was fine.

A sense of relief rushed over me and tears started to fall. I cried.

In the mist of time, I used the HATE word. I am sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't hate. Not for my part. I just don't know how else to calm down.

Socialize and Entertaining - Compulsory! @_@

2010-09-12T19:53:00.003-07:00

"It is a compulsory for you to eat out and socialize during you lunch and non-working time" says The B.

@_@ *Hin* (Dizzy in Hokkien)

I am gluten intolerant. Outside food is not safe for me. Yet I am in the situation whereby it is a compulsory for me to eat and entertain my clients.

How?

Google my problem.

Then, I found out BROMELAIN can help me.

Finger-crossed that Brunei has it.

I actually went to quite a number of leading pharmacies in search of it. Failed.

Until I went to Supa Save to buy myself a popsicle, I saw GNC. I decided to give it a try.

Ta-da!

I gave it a try for a week and it has been working fabulous for me!!!

It doesn't mean I can take wholesome wheat based food. It does help a lot in breaking down the gluten that my body isn't familiar with anymore. They aren't in talking terms, you know, therefore the war happens whenever those two meet.

I don't have to suffer from cross-contaminated food. I just pop bromelian into my body and it will easy to break it down and get it out of my system.

I Have Been Lazy

2010-07-16T14:42:00.000-07:00

Help.

SOS.

Du Du Du.

I am infected with 懒惰虫 (laziness).

Poof Here I Am

2010-05-25T05:33:00.000-07:00

HELLO my blog!

I am so sorry that I haven't been updating at all.

Alright enough of the sorry thing.... Let's move to.... My recent outings with my colleagues (super funny people)

This trip to Miri was my mini reward for working hard and staying back at work (and skipping meal time too) rushing to produce the reports (for a week).

Joining this trip were:

Teresa and Christina

Teresa (again) and Ling

Ling should be on TV, she is one character that is easily loved by anyone.

Teresa is funnier when she is drunk. ^^

I couldn't just eat anything, so my dinner was a can of Teh Hijau by Yeo's. :(

I must expand my capacity and travel to cities that love me back. ><>

Seeing me so 可怜 (ko lian), Teresa offered to wipe my Teh Hijau's can. LOL

She said that she tried gluten-free bread before when she was in UK preparing food for the elders, one of the granny was gluten intolerant, she said it tasted like cardboard.

-__- I cannot complain. It is not easy to get gluten free bread here.

LOL Look at how their face expressions glowed and radiant when the food arrived. LOL

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3

We went to Rexx after dinner BUT it was fully occupied unless we would like to consider the RM$300 KTV room. Neh!

Christina commented that there was another place nearby.

-__- guess where she brought us to.....

THE KING's CLUB

The bouncer inside asked us who we were looking for when we were at the staircase. Teresa nearly told the bouncer that we were all looking for our husbands inside. LOL

Super malu.

In the end we went to Cherry Berry (the usual).

Soi soi, when we about to head back home, my car broke down. It refused to start.

Teresa, she was tipsy from the alcohol, kept asking me to try again and again and again, followed by her unconvincing motivation that it was going to start.

I was a bit frust with her here.

Ling googled for the number to call a cab. The cab didn't come as promised. :(

To make the moment worse, Teresa was pretty confident that if I gave my car another try, it would start.

I just gave her the look -__-# and refused to comply.

She then burped out a comment --- "为什么喝了酒的人说话没有人相信" ---that threw us all into laughter.

After waiting for 20mins, Christina suggested that we called for another cab at the Park Hotel. I took her suggestion and this time the cab came.

Phew!

What went wrong with my car?

The connector needed to be changed.

Za dao with its timing.

Wheatgrass + Worms

2010-04-14T22:40:00.000-07:00

My wheatgrass grows so well. This is my first time to have planted anything. :)

BUT

I stopped growing it because the worms keep on infesting my wheatgrass and mom finds it disgusting.

Hai~! So much for my new hobby in supporting GREEN.

Live To Be Killed

2010-04-14T22:38:00.001-07:00

DSC04074, originally uploaded by kkmakwy.

Sigh.....

At the sight of meat, I felt terribly sorry for the animals. They live to be killed and to be served as food.

I just feel bad for them.

Single. Content. Happy.

2010-04-05T19:00:00.000-07:00

I hate it when the stereotype keeps on telling me that I should get a boyfriend. It seems like it is impossible for the society to accept that I am single and happy.

Super hate it!

Having a boyfriend is not the happy ending to life, okay! It is not a solution to those who CHOOSE to be single. Being single is not a problem.

I don't have any problem being single. Neither am I avoiding anything. I choose to be single for this moment in life.

"You will regret painfully when you woke up one day being 40 and single."

Who are you to determine that I would be single and filled with regrets when I hit 40?

Seriously.

I am happy right now! Get it into your dumb ass head!

Pain In The Ass To Get Connected

2010-04-02T23:22:00.000-07:00

What a lengthy title! LOL

Once again, I was in the spin ----> DST or B-Mobile.

I had a bad experience with B-Mobile once. -_- I decided to go for DST this time. I called up my friend to buy the modem (DST is selling theirs at BND$300).

I was supposed to pick it up the next day.

NO STOCK! (horror!!! The stock will only arrive 3 weeks later!!!)

-_-

Detour. I turned to B-Mobile.

Yay! Promotion is on. I only needed to pay BND$179.00 for the registration and the modem. I was being really patient to wait for my turn and the salesgirl told me

"I am not sure whether there is any coverage at your residential area. You will need to ask around. It is not worth it to get the line if there isn't any coverage."

-_-

But that was nice of her to give me the heads up. That didn't happen to me when I signed up for their (prepaid) broadband last time.

I guess I have no other option but to give J a ring and asked him for a favor.

That wasn't the end of my "pain".

When I finally signed up for the broadband (thank god there is great coverage at my residential area),

my Windows cannot detect the modem.

Haaarrrrrrgggghhh! *Hair pulling*

Reluctantly I asked J whether he would mind exchanging his modem with mine. Last resort.

He thought I wanted to exchange the sim card too. Nooooo dear, why would I want to do that? It was the modem.

He said he would need to try first. Of course, it was only reasonable.

I couldn't believe that I didn't have any other option. I decided to contact another friend, M.

M was a real darling friend who would give me a hand whenever needed. Problem solved. I am connected.

The Wonder of False Lashes

2010-02-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

LOVE the existence of false lashes.

See how it makes a different to my eyes! Super love it!

Pardon for the poor quality of the picture taken. It is taken by a WebCam. I forgot to bring along the tripod for my camera and there is no one around to take picture for me.

I own two pairs of false lashes. One is from MAC and one is those from any beauty store.

The MAC one cost RM42.00. That's quite a bit for me, so I don't usually use that. On normal occasion, I use the cheap-piak type. The one that I have on right now is the cheap-piak one. Not bad eh?

There are people who would comment that my make up is a little on the heavy side. Truth is I have the type of eyes that I need to slap some make up on, otherwise I will look like I am not well and I would get a lot of questioning whether I am tired or I am sick or I am dying. The dying part, I just added it myself. I don't think anyone would be that brave to ask whether I am dying.

Nonnie posted a question on her FB whether or not she should go for the lash extension. I think she should totally go for it despite all the negative feedback.

Woman, all these beauty ojipalas are created for us to use and feel great even for a second. So why not?

Plus Chinese New Year is coming. What does that say? Opportunities to doll up and take really nice pictures. And AND it is Valentine too! Do I need to say more???

To Understand To Change

2010-02-03T19:11:00.000-08:00

I like what my friend has shared with me and a bunch of other friends yesterday.

We have to know and to understand in order to make the decision to change.

That sentence alone gave me a 2 x 4 and I like it.

A lot of times, I know something but I do not necessary understand it. It could be one of the “Oh~” moment, but after that moment has passed, I brushed it off and go back to the same pattern.

Basing on the current situation that I am in, I definitely need to give some thoughts what I choose to do differently this time for my future to be different.

Aloe Vera + Period = Disaster

2010-02-01T01:36:00.000-08:00

Lesson learnt.

Never ever eat aloe vera when having period. It causes more bleeding.

Never ever eat aloe vera when period just ends. It continues the bleeding.

The Japanese Carps Paintings

2010-02-01T01:33:00.000-08:00

I noticed as I took down the Japanese Carp drawings from my room, I got laid off from my job – the one where I was working with the Devil-Who-Doesn't-Wear-Prada.

(Hey, I didn't get booted because I couldn't do the job, I got booted because I was mature and too positive for the company. Yes, the Devil said that I have become mature and therefore she couldn't work together with me. She actually preferred the ME years back, young and naive. Weird eh?)

I am monitoring my day from the day I got laid off and see what would be the effect of not having that drawings on the wall.

I took down the remaining two that were hanging in the walkway and the living room. Dad asked me this morning the intention of doing so. Instead of giving him a lengthy explanation, I just told him that it wouldn't do us any good unless an expert in Feng Shui advised us to hang the drawings there at those particular spots.

All those paintings, that I have taken down, were hanged (to my surprise) at the South and South bears the element of Fire. Logically, hanging paintings that bear the element of Water would not have been a wise choice. Perhaps that's why I have been attracting bosses who were psycho in their very own ways and who enjoy making others feel small.

I probably need to look for a world map to put on my walls. I love to travel and earning money at the same time. I will need to check on the direction for that.

My condition as gluten and lactose intolerant has limited my travelling spots. I could only travel to developed countries with big cities. Those places would have better acknowledgement to my condition. Well, I would have been 400 pounds if I didn't have food intolerant, somehow I am grateful to have it.

It is hard to tell right now, whether my decision to take down the drawings is the right one. I will need a period of time to monitor the progress instead of jumping into conclusion that because of the fact that I got laid off, it was a bad decision. It would have been super easy to jump into conclusion like that.

For the time being, I think it would be a wise choice to avoid hanging out with people who aren't my 9 and 10. I get that head-siding-sympathatic-look all the time when I told them my current status.

Why do people have to do that?

At this vulnerable moment, I could use some encouragement or inspiration, certainly not the “Oh, are you okay?” or “Oh, have you found a job yet?” kind of look. I cannot afford to be negative because I do not want to attract any negativity.

Face it. I have been attracting the wrong kind of working environment for too many years. This time, I am going to be doing things a little differently – starting with positivity. It would be a great moment to find out how this thing works and get a grip of it so that I could score better at using it in the future.

Free At Last

2010-01-25T18:24:00.000-08:00

I am FREE!!!

Oh my god, I am never going to take any call from the Devil-Who-Doesn't-Wear-Prada. Horrible candidate to be the boss.

Points to myself:

Do not think that someone would change after being horrible. She didn't change a bit, regardless how many self-development courses she has undertaken.
Always ask for details. Even though friends do take advantage of me.
For people who do not practice doing things in black and white, they are cheating already.
Walk away from meannies, stop feeling kesian for them. They don't deserve it.

What I Want For Christmas

2009-12-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

Woohoo! My Christmas gift arrived on 24th December 2009! Just in time to pull up my mood for this year super duper quiet Christmas. The quietness of this year's Christmas was enough to make me slumped into depression for good. Next year, I better be doing something or be somewhere.

What did I get for myself for Christmas?

Zhang Jing Na's postcard collection!!!

I love her work. Completely adore her work. It would be one of my dreams come true if I could get one photo taken by her.

Photo of it will be uploaded when I am free. Been super busy.

:P Laters!

What Is It?

2009-12-24T00:30:00.000-08:00

I felt like as though I was supposed to do something.... but I have no idea what it was....

Hmmmm......

A friend told me that one of the way to guess it out is to observe my environment and people that I interact with. One thing for sure.... they are married or about to get married. I am very sure that I am not getting married anytime soon. ><

I can feel that I have totally moved out from the used-to hang-out group. Our energy is no longer the same. I am relieved. I am moving into something new. Something that is foreign to me. I will only find out piece by piece of the puzzle as I synchronize myself with the flow. It is scary at some point of not knowing where I am heading. I have keep telling myself that I am well blessed and stop worrying.

I think the shifting will continue for the next few months before finally settling me into the new atmosphere. For once, I am going to trust my life and be guided into where I am supposed to be.

Waiting....

2009-12-16T03:29:00.001-08:00

I am sitting and waiting.

When is my turn?

-_-

Trying my best not to get annoyed.

Some people do not feel paiseh to make me wait.

I Am Not DEAD

2009-12-15T16:15:00.000-08:00

I am just too busy to do any updates.

-_-

Moving into 2010, different energy.

I need to get my life back in order.

I Was Dubbed!!!

2009-11-27T21:50:00.000-08:00

Wheel alignment at Jasra cost me BND$120.00 and they didn't do a good job!!!

You will never see me there EVER AGAIN!!!

Funny Guy

2009-11-01T21:25:00.000-08:00

This Indonesian Guy is funny.

I don't understand most of his entries, I just look at his pictures and figure out what he is trying to say.

I hope he will write in English soon. You know, going international.

OOOoooo the best part is, you can write in your dare (for him to do).

Sale At JPMC

2009-11-01T21:22:00.000-08:00

I said I wouldn't buy anything. I was going there to collect what I have ordered.

I came back with a pair of gorgeous opened toe pump from Dorothy Perkins (and those stuff I have ordered).

This Is It

2009-10-30T23:23:00.000-07:00

I am going with my mom. She loves MJ's dance moves.

I might cry a bucket.

I miss MJ.

Hanging Out With Si Lai

2009-10-30T23:18:00.000-07:00

I hang out with my mom a lot lately. I kind of like it. I like it when I am doing something nice for her.

We weren't been able to talk at all when I was a lot younger. I was too head strong and refused to see her point of view. (I have another post written in relation to this which I will post it up when it is ready)

Sometimes I still fail to see her point, but I never let myself dwelling in that stage for long. I am able to put myself in her shoes now and understand her better.

Life has been great hanging out with her. The feeling is simply priceless.

Procrastinating

2009-10-30T23:17:00.000-07:00

It is still sitting on CPU.

I am supposed to send this out.

I am going to kick my butt one day to get it done.

Imbalance Qi at Home

2009-10-28T17:34:00.001-07:00

"DAD!!!! Please cut short your vacation and come home asap." I feel like saying this to Dad.

Mom isn't happy being at home. She is constantly complaining about everything and everyone seems to be at fault.

If she isn't happy being at home, then she should not stay at home. I don't encourage people to continue doing things that aren't making them positive.

I wish I could send her off to Kuching, where her heart is, at the next second. -_- Kind of sad to see that she is not happy to stay at home with us. I thought she came back because she missed us.

Apparently not.

I am going to have a word with Aunt and am going to tell her to only buy the return ticket when my mom actually misses home and misses us. Don't come back because she has to, come back because she misses us. Nobody is forcing her to come back.

Sure, things would be harder for me to manage without a stay-home-mom. I still remember crying myself to sleep because my whole body was aching and I completely lost my appetite to eat when I thought of all the work waiting for me to get them done. BUT it is even harder to live with her when her heart is just not here. What's the point to be here when she doesn't want to be here?

Dad is scheduled to come back from his trip in another two weeks time. I will buy a one way ticket for mom to go to Kuching and this time I am going to tell her ---- "don't come back unless you really want to and come back when you really miss us (your family)."

What doesn't break me will only make me stronger. So, I will live.

Having A Family Without Marriage

2009-10-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I chatted with one old friend who lived two continents away from me.

I was curious in knowing how come the supposedly to be marriage didn't work out. You know, me being kay-po (nosy) during my feminine moments.

He said he wasn't ready at that time and he wanted to remain single for the rest of his life.

Sort of. I summarized everything so you don't have to go through all the winding tales. I told him it was rather quick to judgment to say that he would remain single for the rest of his life. One bad experience in relationship does not determine the future. I have plenty of bad experiences in relationships thanks to my poor judgment in men. I think I have poor judgment in friends too. I have met a couple of bad apples.

Anyway, I do not rule out the possibility that I might meet someone who will kneel down and present a diamond ring for my hand in marriage. I know I totally do not strike the type that men would think of in the pursue of wife material. Sometimes weird things do happen.

He also said that he wanted to have children in the future but not getting married.

Okay. That would mean finding a surrogate mother to insert his sperm via some tubes. "Easy. Just make sure you have a good lawyer to draw up a good agreement and the child is yours"

He hated legal papers. To him, it was such a hassle.

"Okay, how about lesbians? I heard they like to experience being pregnant but do not want to keep the child." In this way, he didn't have to ever worry about the birth mom would expect him to present the diamond ring. No string attached.

He said he tried, but found none. Plus, he was okay with the idea having the birth mom to remain in contact with the child.

"Then you wait for my timing, when I am ready to have a family of my own and I am still single, I will look for you."

He said okay, he would wait.

That was my second plan. A plan that is not acceptable in the traditional and conventional society. A family without a marriage. Well, what to do if there is no one for me? I still want to have children and I do not want to miss out my fertile years. I am prepared to walk into sperm bank to buy myself a child.

There are pros and cons with that plan. Plenty of pros actually.

I don't have to deal with the nitty gritty family issues (husband related). I have a total freedom to pursue my dreams. Life is short, therefore my dreams are the priority.

Many people might not be able to accept the way I think but look around, how many people are actually happily married?

Forgetful Beck

2009-10-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

Wa lao eh.

My colleague, who could not remember the memo that was already sent to her desk months ago, accused me of not giving her the copy.

Sekali I found it in her file.

Satu sorry pun tak ada. (I think some people are just born to accuse others.) Still expect me to follow up her pending case for her. Tiu. My job is done months ago. The case is now pending at her desk and I should follow up with boss for her?

I am so glad I am leaving.

Friend? I Doubt it

2009-10-18T18:13:00.000-07:00

Me: Eh, F's birthday is coming leh, what are we going to get for her?

J: Oh B and A already gotten her something and I am going to draw something for her.

Me: I can't draw leh. Then here also cannot buy anything that is nice for her. What can I give leh? (Still didn't see the point people are making. Super Su Ku)

Another J: You can do the frame for the picture lo.

J: Yeah, you can do that.

Honestly, I didn't think there was something for me to pick up from the above conversation. That was until I reached home and when I had the chance to sit down without having anything to do.

Come to think about it.

If they are my friends, they would have taken the initiative to include me in their plan. Not me who took the initiative to ask and then found out that they have already made a plan. I know who is behind all this. I just don't choose to burst the bubbles. People choose to live in denial. Let them lo.

This didn't happen for just this once. There have been many occasions where I have been left out. All that have started ever since that incident.

Sometimes I have the urge to yell at that very person. I didn't because it is not an issue that is my responsibility to deal with. She has issues which over the time made her this way. The choice is hers. To cross the bridge or to remain ignorant towards the manifestation of her own actions.

No matter how bad I felt being treated the way she did to many others. I chose not to be the same, to react back the same way. It is very tempting to react the same way, but still no. I don't choose to be like her and live like her.

Whenever I think about her, I get connected to her energy and oh boy I can sense the anger. I hope she does the meditating.

2009-10-09T23:26:00.001-07:00

I had a great chat with my prince charming from college. Okay, the contents of the chat wasn't like great great, I just felt great every time that I chatted with him.

He was the one of the top notch students in class, I was the one who was always missing in action, late and zone out in class. (Yes, I didn't score well in my academic)

I remembered the first time I got to sit besides him. I didn't deliberately plan to sit besides him, it just happened so. That was my rare moment of choice to listen to the lecture.

I smelt something powdery and floral. I sniffed around. It was from him. I wasn't sure, so I leaned towards him to smell him. He was taken back by my action. Obviously, people do not smell each other regularly. That's what dogs do.

Seeing his reaction, I then told him that he smelt really nice and to beat the awkwardness, I asked him what perfume did he use.

He said he didn't use any.

I insisted that he smelt really nice.

He probably thought it was a lame chat up line to use. He said that he hadn't been home to shower for the whole day (we had quite a few lectures for that day) and it was strange that I commented that he smelt really nice.

In my head, I was saying to myself:

well, if you smell really nice under this hot humid weather, you must smell really good after a shower.

Of course, I didn't say THAT to him. He probably would just stand up and switch places with the others. I didn't want him to think that I was some kind of pervert.

LOL

I still remember his scent after all these years.

I have no idea though whether he still smells the same. We haven't met each other since he left for States. It has been 8 years.

He said that he might come back to Kuching for Chinese New Year. I am driving my family to Kuching for Chinese New Year too. We might be able to meet up.

Am I going to smell him again?

I might do that :)

Delusional Human Being: Mark Rammell

2009-10-09T17:32:00.000-07:00

Girls, ladies, women out there, watch out for this person Mark Rammell. His facebook url is http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000292955352

He is living under the illusion that this is his first house.

-_-|||

Which part of the room does not look or scream feminine to you? Please la, there is a tote hanging at the chair ok. I may look gong gong (stupid) but I am pretty sure I am not blind yet.

Gay? No wo, he said he was damn straight.

Super duper tiu.

Even my own room does not look THAT feminine. (My room is very messy right now, have to clean up before Asia comes by)

P.S: I am not bullying him. I have done some check on the photo he gave, it is a picture he has copied from the internet.

If you want a house to hao lian (show off) to others, make sure you buy one or rent one or build one.

When I told him that his picture was a fake, he still has the nerve to say I am acting like a FBI but in actual fact I know nothing and with my attitude like that for sure I won't have any men asking me out and thus no husband - end up alone for the rest of my life.

Who say that I am looking for a husband?

And what is the world's population now? Define "alone" for me. Everyone is fighting for space because what? Everyone build or want bigger house for what? TOO MANY PEOPLE ALREADY. Get it?

Attracting ....

2009-10-08T00:56:00.000-07:00

MacBook Pro 13"

Putting Law of Attraction to test.

I know I have received many wonderful help by implementing Law of Attraction. This time it is different....

First time to ask for something that is 4 digits.

"Whatever you ask, the universe delivers"

So, this is what I am asking for.

When to have it? 10th November 2009. 2:oo p.m.

I Am A Racist?

2009-10-04T17:42:00.000-07:00

I received an invitation to chat this morning. I accepted to chat and then found out that I didn't enjoy the chat. I told the other party that I didn't enjoy the chat and bid goodbye.

Sekali, do you know what come next?

I hope you are not a racist.

What the puck! (I was said to be filthy at mouth when I use "f**k" so now it has been "puck" instead)

I just discontinue doing something that I clearly do not enjoy.

I don't enjoy being with people who constantly wear multiple mask, I discontinue to hang out with them.

I don't enjoy spending my money on things that do not align with what my objectives and goals, I discontinue the service/products/habit.

I don't enjoy taking on free lunch, I make sure people get something in return.

I don't enjoy lao sai, I discontinue eating food that would upset my stomach.

I have made it clear that I do not enjoy the conversation, so I ended with a goodbye. And I am a racist?!

I know the person said, "I hope you are not a racist." This sentence revealed that in that person's mind ----> I am a racist. The sentence was put out in hope that that person's thought was wrong, could be wrong, may be wrong.

Well, I cannot say with affirmation that I am or I am not a racist. That depends on what do you mean by being a racist.

So, if I say that I find myself don't get along well with most Chinese Chinese, am I a racist? That is my own race leh!

Tiu.

Surprise For Today

2009-10-02T20:56:00.000-07:00

Look what's on my desk when I come to work.

Mooncake!

Approching noon, another surprise popped in.

Ta da!

Thank you, Mdm. Tay for gearing me into festive mood.

Thank you, Jason for being so thoughtful. (Just what I have in mind)

I am going vegan today :) I just want to try out being vegan on first and fifteen day of every month. I can live without meat. I just would like to find out how I do without garlic and onions.

I had gluten free cereal this morning and I was a bit peckished approaching noon. Pop! Jason appeared with gluten free vegan cookies. Yay!

Gluten Free Living

2009-10-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

OOOOoooOOO Look what I made for past sunday breakfast:

They are made with rice flour. Couldn't tell the different, eh? I am so impressed with myself.

My Very Own Cendol

2009-10-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

You people don't want to serve me cendol with santan?

Nah, I made my own. Who need you!

My first attempt to make the cendol myself failed. I left out the alkaline water in the recipe. Lesson learnt. Never kay gao kay kiang.

As you can see, some of the cendol were super long. Well, I ran out of patient to squeeze them and I had to act fast, this thing formed rather quick.

Ok, for my santan, I picked up a coconut that fall from the coconut trees near my place. My uncle helped me to unskinned it. My mom believes that I would chop my hand off if I do it myself.

Then I have to drive down to KB to shred it at my aunt's place. She has the coconut shredder and it is definitely cleaner than to have it done at shop. I am thinking to have one when I buy my own house.

Note to be taken here. Do not over heat your coconut milk. See what happened? Ji liab ji liab. Apparently coconut milk do not require you to bring it to boil. Just heat it enough.

Lastly, red beans. I didn't soak it. I just washed it and covered it with 3 parts of water and threw it into the pressure cooker. I would add another part of water to it next time. I prefer rather mushy red bean.

This is also my virgin try on pressure cooker. Apparently you only start counting after the whistle is singing. 15 mins I counted before I turned off the heat.

The grass jelly and corn, I got that from can. Oh for the sweetening, use Palm Sugar, not Gula Melaka. Not the one in rolls, it is the one that they put in bowl like container.

Mixture is, 3 tbsp of coconut milk, 1 tbsp of palm sugar (you have to add this to a bit of hot water to melt it prior to mixing it to the rest) and as much as you like of the red bean, cendol, grass jelly and corn.

Viola!

Your very own cendol with bursting flavour.

It Was Fun

2009-10-02T18:59:00.001-07:00

Look at that cake! It looked like a shop bought one, no? I was amazed when Carmen served us her homemade Yam and Vanilla Cake.

Brandon (Carmen's husband) was showing us how to do the transaction online. Halfway through, Monica replaced his seat with....

Hahahahaha super cute.

Monica brought along mooncake for us. I couldn't have it because it was not gluten free. I bet it was real good, look at Ryan's face.... he was totally floating somewhere on cloud 9.

The mooncake was from Hai Wai Tian, Gadong.

Hooking Up Girls with Random Phone Chat Up?

2009-09-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

I think it all started from this:

21/09/2009
Someone : Selamat Hari Raya 2 u 2 aiza hipopo hehe... Maaf zahir dan batin since we noe each other k.. Raya2 dtg la ke umah k hehe

Which I replied as : I'm not aiza. You got the wrong number.

24/09/2009
Another Someone : Hy.. slamat hari raya.is it ok 2 knw u?

Me : Who is this? How do you even get my number? Tq (I thought it was my friend trying to pretend to be a stranger)

Another Someone : Rizal gve it 2 me.m khalid

Me : Sorry I don't even know any rizal. You got the wrong number. Tq

Khalid : I cn gve u his numbr 2 b sure i dnt ve d wrong number (mati mati still think I am the right person that his "Rizal" introduced)

Khalid : So I dnt get d chance 2 knw u aisah..no woriez if u cnt.sory 2 disturb u

Me : Call to XXXXX to make friend. Tq (Du lan, I gave him Jason's number. I told Jason about it)

Khalid : K..wil cal u there.sure nt sme1 wil answr d phne.

Me : No worries. Not a single phone call is left unanswered. Tq (Jason never left a call unanswered)

Khalid : Wat if i cal n a guy answer? Hmmm. (Eh? Smart eh? But still want him to catch the bait and knocked into the wall)

Me : If you never try you'll never know (Kakakakakaa)

Khalid : I did n a guy answr.i cal 4m my ofis

Khalid : M i rite? A guy answrd..

Me : Bingo. I'm also a guy. (I think this is the only repellent to people like him)

Khalid : Wat d...hahahaha..m gona kil my fren.haha

Khalid : Cal u nw if u dnt mind.jus a quik cal. (Still want to give a final try? Hmph!)

Me : Sorry mate. I'm straight. (This one is sure a golden card. Sure work one)

Khalid : Hahahaha..me 2.shit my fren ah.

*************************************

Is this the trend now where guys just randomly get a phone number to chat with girls? Whatever happen to walking up to the girl and say, "Hi, you look like someone interesting enough to get to know, would you like to have a coffee with me?" or "Hey, that's an interesting book you got there. I saw that at the bookstore the other day. What's it about?"

What's going on?

Am I so out of tune with the world? Or am I living in a different world?

I am not comfortable meeting people via internet or random phone texting. I still prefer to meet someone from groceries shopping, bookstore or gadgets stores. At least I get to know what this person looks like and what is he/she into. Hey, from a bag of groceries, you can tell a lot of a person, you know.

Well, I had fun fooling that boy.

You Know What You Know, So What?

2009-09-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

Talk so much, preach so much.

Do you even practice all that?

How close are you to what you always talk and preach?

Are you all talk but no action?

You have all the answers.

Apologize If You Really Mean It (Otherwise DON'T)

2009-09-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

What is an UNDERAPOLOGIZER?

He/She/It (whatever) who took the word "sorry" for granted; as though that by saying it, it would work magic and get forgiven. While the conversation may sound like you are apologizing and sorry for what you have done, there is a chance that the other party just do not feel that you are being sincere with whatever that comes out from your mouth. Your sorry just doesn't do any help. An apology requires sincereness. In case you haven't noticed. When you are not sincere, even your pet would know.

A not sincere apology is a big red STOP sign for other party to receive your message (that you are sorry). It simply says, "I am just saying it because I am (or want to look like)the bigger person (than you) here." or "Now that I have apologized, you should get over with whatever has happened." over whatever you actually want to say. I even encountered one occasion where the apology comes with the ego feeding message "I may be apologizing here but I am also telling you that I know better than you."

That's not cool. It is not going to do any help. Stop doing it. Don't bother to apologize. It is not beneficial to anyone.

I am not saying that no one should apologize when they don't feel like to. Do apologize when it was your own carelessness, neligence or thoughtlessness that cause harm to another person that you sincerely regret. Do it when you are sincerely regretting your actions.

And keep your apology simple. Do not add in spotlights to pump your ego. It is not the right moment for that.

Stay True To Yourself

2009-09-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

Some people are plain weird.

If you don't like me, then stay true to that and don't pretend to be ok la.

I don't pretend to like or dislike you. I don't like you ALL THE TIME. When you are not nice, I do not like you. But I won't condemn you as a 100% not nice person. You have your strengths and weaknesses. (I have mine) You ~~are~~ were nice to me. Now, I am not sure of that. Your face + your energy vibration + actions do not align.

I don't secretly do things behind your back and hopefully you will feel it or find out about how much I dislike you. Perhaps even hopefully, you will back off and disappear from my life and my circle of friends who happen to be our mutual friends.

You want them, take la. Go ahead and enrol them into your secret (secret to me only) society.

Tiu. 搞这么多事情，为的是什么？

Not So Nice Message ---------> Well Received :)

2009-09-16T18:12:00.000-07:00

Phew.... after a whole night worrying about the response of my not so nice message, it turned out pretty well received. Afterall, I said it with good intention. Still..... WHAT A RELIEF!!!

With the 165 installed, it seems like everything turn out to be something good. I highly recommend that "decor" to be in every house. My brother has bought a condo and it will be done end of next year. I definitely am going to buy one to blessed his place.

It is not fun to be rich alone.

Delivering Not So Nice Message

2009-09-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

What would you do when you have a message not so nice to deliver?

A second ago, I have sent a not so nice message to someone. I have no idea what kind of response I would get.

It is not something I like to do. It is not something that I would ever dream of doing. But it has to be done in order to sort things out.

Happy Birthday!!!

2009-09-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to ME

Happy Birthday to ME

Happy Birthday to ME ME ME

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I am so happy that I am born!!!

I am so happy that I am blessed with a brother

I am so happy that I am blessed with wonderful parents

I am so happy that I am blessed with Mckers (she didn't wish me happy birthday leh...)

I am so happy that I am blessed with friends

I am so happy that I am blessed with abundance!!!

Visualization Came True

2009-09-04T01:44:00.000-07:00

Remember I shared before that I have bought the 165?

From time to time, not too often, I spoke to the 165 and asked for guidance to bring out my direction.

Today, another of my "request" came true. I will be joining another company in December. I was having the trouble calculating how to fulfill what I intend to accomplish next year. No matter how I calculated basing on the situation before the offer came by, it just seemed unattainable. But I know I have to do what I have to do. So, I turned to 165 and asked for sound leadership to bring out my wisdom so that I could find my direction.

When I received the call, I was worrying again that the offer might not be the right price. I sent out the intention to the universe asking for the price that I felt comfortable to make the move.

Guess what?

The offer was EXACTLY the price that I asked for. No kidding.

Things are indeed getting better and better. Thank you to the universe.

Hungry Ghost Article: As Long As You Have LOVE In You

2009-09-01T22:32:00.001-07:00

I saw this article in Visiber website. It is originally written in Mandarin and I would like to share with you all in English (I try my best ah, my Mandarin is only up to Primary 6).

*********************************************************************

Have you ever heard of the story of Yu Lan Festival?

Yu Lan Festival originated from a story of Mu Lian trying to save his mother.

Legend said that Mu Lian saw his mother was reincarnated into a hungry ghost, with swollen belly and with throat as small as a needle, after her death. Although his mother wanted to eat some food but he couldn't. There was smoke coming out of her mouth. Mu Lian saw his mother suffering from hunger and was left with nothing but skin and bones.

Mu Lian was heartbroken. With the help of a medium, Mu Lian prepared a bowl of food to feed his mother. His mother ate the food with one hand and covered herself with the other so that the other ghost would not see it. This move showed that his mother was still not generous in heart. God punished her again. This time, when the food entered her mouth, it turned into ashes. Seeing this, Mu Lian broke down and cried. He begged for the reason to have this done to his mother.

Through the medium, God told Mu Lian that his mother has commited a lot of sins when she was alive and it cannot be undone by him alone. He must get more people to help if he wished to free his mother from sufferings. God also said, "十方眾僧 (I think this is some kind of spirit) usually come out on 15th of July. If you want to help your mother, you must prepare five types of fruits with hundred of flavour and display them on plates as offering to 十方眾僧 to gain merits. This way, not only you can help your mother to end her sufferings, you also can help other parents to end their sufferings."

The solution brought joy to Mu Lian and he hurried off to prepare for the upcoming 15th of July.

Indeed, just like what God said, his mother was pardon for all her sins and was reincarnated into a dog inside the palace; after that (some good deeds that the mother must have done, this part I do not know how to translate), the mother finally ascended to heaven.

Mu Lian was very grateful to God and went around to tell others of the solution that they could also do to help their parents' after death as a gratitude for their nurture, upbringing and love.

Yu Lan Festival is held on 15th July every year (chinese calendar ok). It is said that on this particular day, it is the perfect timing to gain merits which is said to be hundred times more than any other day. Therefore the many buddhists will celebrate Yu Lan Festival on this day to help their parents as well as others.

************Another Story************

On my wedding day (not mine la, this is the story already), mom asked me, "Who are the two people sitting at the corner? They look like beggars."

When I looked at the corner, I saw the old man staring at me and besides him was an old lady. When the old man saw that I was looking back at him, he quickly lower his head. I did not know them but they certainly did not look like beggars. Their clothes were brand new. Mom insisted that they could be beggars because they always kept their heads low and the old lady had a walking stick with her.

Mom said that Tian Chi (the husband) was a orphan, so there was no one from his side attending our wedding. "If we do not know who they are, just turn them away. Today is your wedding, it is bad luck to have beggars around. They could be pretending to be our relatives so that they could eat a free meal."

"I don't think so, mom" I decided to ask Tian Chi to confirm. Tian Chi was so nervous out of a sudden and knocked over my flower. He just mumbled that they were his extended uncle and aunt. I glared at mom. We almost turned away Tian Chi's relatives.

Mom continued to ask Tian Chi, "Tian Chi, aren't you an orphan? How come you have relatives now?" Tian Chi was afraid of mom. He answered mom while keeping his head low that they were his distance relatives. They had not kept in touch for very long time. He felt bad if no one from his side atteneded his wedding and therefore he invited them.

I leaned over to Tian Chi and complaint to him that he should have made known to me earlier that his relatives were attending our wedding. We could have prepared a better spot for them. Tian Chi insisted that the corner table was fine for his uncle and aunt. He explained further that they might not feel comfortable if we moved their seats.

When the dinner started, no one else sit with the old couple. They were all by themselves.

During our yam seng moment, we were passing the old couple's table. Tian Chi hesistated for a while and then pulled me to away from the old couple's table, moving on to the other table. I glanced back at the old couple. Their heads remained very low. I thought about it for a while and I pulled Tian Chi to go back to the old couple's table. "Uncle, Auntie, we would like to give you both a toast!" I said.

The old couple raised their heads to stare at me as though they could not believe what they had heard. The old man had white hair all over his head. He looked like he was around 70 - 80. The old lady looked very blank in her eyes. Although she was facing me but her eyes continue to look empty. I waved my hand in front of her, no reaction. Oh! She couldn't see. Apparently, the old lady was blind. I raised my glass and said, "Uncle, Auntie, I am Siu Kit. We are now proposing a toast to you both!" Tian Chi translated to them in their kampong accent.

"Oh, oh" the old man managed to stand up with left hand escorting his wife. His right hand trembled as he reached for the glass. His fingers were yellow and his fingernails were filled with mud. I was surprised to notice that the old man had a missing right leg. "Auntie is blind and Uncle is crippled. How did they manage life together?" I thought. Immediately, I told the old man, "Uncle, Auntie, you don't have to stand up for this toast. You can remain sitted." The old man slowly settled back into his seat. The old lady started to shed a few tears while the old man patted her back. I wanted to stay and chat with both of them but Tian Chi pulled me away.

Walking away, I told Tian Chi to give them some money, "I am sure they need it. They are both crippled so life must be hard for them." Tian Chi nodded but did not say a word. He only hold me very tightly.

The first Chinese New Year Eve that we had, Tian Chi suddenly said that he wasn't feeling well and did not join us for the reunion dinner. He retreated back into the bedroom. My mom made some porridge and I brought the porridge to him. Inside the bedroom, I saw Tian Chi lying on the bed with tears in his eyes.

"This is our first Chinese New Year Eve together, how come you are not joining us for the reunion dinner? It seems like you rather spend the rest of the evening inside the bedroom. For outsiders, this may look like as though we do not treat you well. You always do not feel well in every festival day, can this be a coincidence? I know that you are ok, please tell me what's in your mind?"

Tian Chi kept on saying he was sorry, he said that he missed his uncle and aunt as well as his deceased parents dearly. He was worried that his facial expression would show at the reunion dinner and it might create unhappiness to my parents.

I hugged him and said, "Silly boy, if you miss them, we can always go and visit them. I too worry about them."

But Tian Chi said, "It's ok. The road would be difficult for you to walk on. Besides it is a long walk, you will get tired before we even reach to their place. When they have built better road and when we have our own children, we will go and visit them."

In my heart: When we have our own children, we don't know whether they are still around or not! But I didn't want to say something like this to Tian Chi at moment like this. I only told him to send more money to them.

In our second year to our marriage, during the Autumn Festival, I was sent to work abroad. It was the Autumn Festival and I didn't get to spend it with my family. I missed Tian Chi and my parents very much, so I decided to talk to Tian Chi on the phone.

I asked Tian Chi what would he do when he couldn't sleep without me at his side? He said he would go online or watch some television. Otherwise just stayed awake with tired eyes.

That night, we completed busted our mobile phone batteries. Lying down on my bed, looking at the full moon, I just could not get myself to sleep. I cried a little because I missed Tian Chi and my parents. I guessed Tian Chi would still be up and would probably be surfing the internet. I rolled out of my bed and logged into the online chat room. I created a new id for myself --- Read Your Mind, just to tease Tian Chi. I went into the chat room and indeed Tian Chi was there. I sent him a request and he added me.

I initiated the chat by asking him, "Tonight is a perfect night to spend with your family, how come you are on the internet?" He replied as: "My wife is working abroad, I miss her and therefore could not sleep. So I decided to go online." I was quite satisfied with his answer and typed, "Well, since your wife is not around, how about having a little virtual affair?" He took a long time to reply, "If you are looking for someone to have an affair with you, I am sorry, I am not your cup of tea. Good bye." "I am sorry, I didn't mean it that way. Don't be angry." I quickily sent another text over. After a few minutes, he asked me, "How come you are also spending your evening online?" I replied, "I am working abroad. I miss my parents very much and I have just talked to my boyfriend. Still cannot sleep, so I went online."

"I too miss my parents, but they are not staying with me" Miss his parents? And they are not staying with him? What does he mean? My mind was filled with question-marks. I was puzzled. I decided to ask him for more details. Why would he say something like that?

"Your id is Read Your Mind. Today, I will let you read my mind. There is something I hide inside my heart for so long and I know it is not healthy to keep things inside me that way. I need to voice it out. Since I do not know you, I hope you will be my listener for tonight." That's when I know what Tian Chi had been keeping inside him all this while.

"30 years ago, my dad was approaching 50 years old and yet he was still single. There was no one would marry him because he has a missing leg. Then one day, there was an old man with a blind lady came asking for food. That old man was very sick. My dad took pity on them and asked them to stay at his place. That old man passed away after a few days. And that blind lady was the only one who would marry my dad. The second year to their marriage, my mom gave birth to me. Our life was hard but I never had to go hungry. Due to my parents being handicapped, they could not do any planting, so they help others to pick corn for a living. The first day that they picked the corn, their hands were filled with blisters. That did not stop them. They just bundled the blisters with some cloth and continue the next day. To put me to school, they kept 3 chicken at home; two chicken were to lay eggs for the market, the other one was to lay eggs for me. My mom said that when she was at the market (in the city), she heard that the children all got eggs for breakfast. "Our own child must have eggs for breakfast too. In the future, our child will be smarter than the children in the city." My parents never once ate the eggs. One day, I saw my mom cracked the egg into the wok and she licked the remaining egg white on the shell. I hugged my mom and cried. No matter what, I just didn't want to eat that egg. When my dad found out, he took a stick and wanted to hit my mom. In the end, I stopped him, I suggested that we all shared the egg together. Although they agreed, but they only pretend to have eaten the egg.

Nobody in the village called me by my name. They all called me the child from the crippled and blind. Whenever my parents heard it, they would encourage me to fight back. Although mom is blind, but she would take a stick and hit aimlessly while yelled, "Me and my husband are handicapped! My son is not! Don't you ever call him like that! In the future, you will never be as bright as him" That year, I scored number one in my examination. Finally, I earned some respect for my parents. The villagers gave me the scholarship to further study in the city. My first day to study in the city was also also the first time for my dad to have walked that far from the village. When I was going inside the car, my tears started pouring down. My dad hold me with one hand and wiped my tears with the other. "When you get into the city, work hard with your study. Get a job and get a wife in the city. When people ask about your parents, just tell them that you are an orphan, you do not have any parents. If not, people will always look down on you. No woman will want to marry you. What do you want me to tell your ancestors when you could not get any wife?"

"Dad!" I stopped my dad from saying all that. How could I do something like that to my own parents? Mom said this was the fact and I have to listen to my dad. "Don't you remember how you were treated in school back in the village? As soon as they know that you are from the crippled blind family, they exclude you from everything. Initially, even your teachers do not like you. In the future, when you get married, just tell your in laws that we are you distance uncle and aunt." Mom continued to wipe my tears. "Don't bring your wife home because mom might spill the beans." said Dad while pushing 10 hard boiled eggs to me. They left after that."

Hearing Tian Chi's story, I couldn't stop crying, being crippled and blind are not his parents' fault, it was God's fault for being unfair to them. But they raised a perfect husband for me. Silly Tian Chi. His parents were the most perfect parents in the whole world. I was angry with Tian Chi, how could he mistaken me to think the same as others?

"So, you told your wife that your parents were your distance uncle and aunt?" I responded to his story.

"Initially, I did not believe my dad. My wife is married to me not to my parents, why would she bother how my parents look like? I have spent my next ten years studying in the city, my parents never once visited me. During my first year working in the city, I wanted to bring my parents to the city, just to spend sometime together. No matter how I persuaded them, they just wouldn't come. They believed that if someone from the city knew that my parents were crippled and blind, it would affect my future, it would affect my chance to get a wife. My parents have spent all their life in the village and never once wanted to leave the village. My mom even said that there was no reason for her to move out of the village. Not long after that, I got to know my first girlfriend. When the timing was right, I brought her back to the village to meet my parents. She did not even stay until dinner and left. I went after her and she told me right there that she could not see herself living with this kind of family even for one single day. She even said that there was something not right with my family and even if we got married, our children would not have a healthy life. I was so mad and told her never to come back. When I came home, my mom was crying and dad was mad at me. They were angry that I did not listen to them and that I was a bad son to lose a chance to give them a grandchild.

After that incident, I met my second girlfriend, who is now my wife. I love her very much, even in my dream I am terrified of losing her. She is from a wealth off family, all her relatives are above middle class. Because of the first incident, I dare not to disobey my parents. But during every festival season, I miss my parents terribly. I feel bad like as though I have abandoned them."

"You never told your wife about this? Who knows, she might not think the same as your first girlfriend."

"I never once mention it to her. I dare not. Even if she does not think the same as my previous girlfriend, I am sure her mother would not approve us to be together. I am staying with them, my father-in-law is an important person in the society. If my parents come to stay with us, that would make my father-in-law very uncomfortable and he would have a hard time explaining this to the society. Because of all these, I could only go back to the village, everytime I was sent to work abroad, to visit my parents. Thank you for listening to my story, I feel better now."

When I log off, I felt numb. There was a saying: A child does not complain how his mother looks like, a dog does not complain a family is poor. See what we have done? I understood Tian Chi's situation and I understood his parents' pain. But they didn't know what they did had put me in a loveless situation.

It was nearly dawn. I went to see my manager. I told him to take over my work because I had something very important to do. I packed up my luggage and rushed off to catch the train.

The road was indeed very difficult to walk on. Initially, my foot were alright, but after a while, they were filled with blisters and I couldn't take another step. It was noon, the sun was high up in the sky with blazing heat. I was puffing. My water was running out. I didn't know how much more I had to walk. I took off my shoes and broke the blisters. It was so painful that I cried. I felt like giving Tian Chi a call and asked him to come rescue me. But I didn't do that in the end. I saw some aloe vera on the road side and applied some to my foot. I felt so much better. Thinking that Tian Chi's parents must be working very hard at their home, I found the energy to continue walking.

The Head of the village helped me to Tian Chi's home. As I was standing at the door and I saw the uncle, oh, should be father-in-law, sitting underneath the tree with the late afternoon sun setting on his back. He aged a lot than the time we met at my wedding. He was picking the corn. His walking stick was resting on his crippled leg. Mother-in-law was squating on the floor, collecting the corn that was left to dry by the sun. That was a beautiful sight of a perfect parents in the whole world.

I approached them slowly. My father-in-law saw me, he dropped all his corn with his mouth wide opened. He was shocked to see me, "You? How come you are here?"

This time, mother-in-law started to panick and she asked, "Dear, who is here?" "Tian.. Tian Chi's wife" "Where? Where!?" Mother-in-law was more panick to hear that and waved her hands around as though to locate me. I dropped my luggage and hold her hands. Seeing them, I dropped to my knees, "Dad, mom, I am going to bring you home!" My father-in-law coughed a little and silent tears started to roll down his face. "See what did I say before? Our son is the best." Mother-in-law took her hands and hold me tight. Her tears flowed from her cheeks onto my shoulder.

When I left the village with my parents-in-law, the villagers used firecrackers to bid us farewell. I have gained another level of respect for my parents-in-law.

When Tian Chi opened the door, he saw his parents came home with me. He was shocked at first and speechless.

I told him, "Tian Chi, I am the one who read your mind. I have brought home with me, my parents-in-law. You have such a wonderful parents, how could you leave them in the village?"

"Thank you!!!" Tian Chi hold me tightly and started to cry.

If you are always working, please spare some time to take a look at your parents.

New Buy

2009-09-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

Skin Food!!!

I am sure it is not something new to you, but it is to ME!!!

Jason recommended me to give this brand a try. He tried the perfume la. You think make up meh....

I bought the

I am very happy with the lip balm and honey pot. Look how glossy the lips can become. Eh, my normal lips do not look that glossy one and the colour not so nice one.

Cheeky Man

2009-09-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

This morning I was caught in a traffic along Jalan Tungku Link (as usual la, during rainy day). I started driving at 6:25am (usual time ---> 6:15am) and I was worried that I might be late to work.

Normally if there was a traffic like that, high possibility to have a car accident ahead.

I was right.

It was my colleague.

I saw the other party was a man. So, I decided to pull my car to the side and checked with her (yes, it's a she) whether everything was alright.

She was clearly frightened by the accident. Her car was scratched in front. The man's car was far ahead.

The man was trying to tell her to call him at eight in the evening and he had to rush off to work. There was a four year old in his car. I hope the kid was alright.

My colleague told me that it was freaky. The man's car hit to her side and continue to skid off to hit the sides in a zig zag motion. (That explained why his car was far ahead)

Guess what?

The man called her at 2:00pm. Earlier than what he suggested. My colleague tried to explain to him that it would be better to meet at 8:00pm because, hey, we were all working in the office at 2:00pm.

Guess what?

(Since it was difficult for her to meet him) He asked her to get me to drive the car and meet him at the workshop.

Tiu. Not my car, ok.

He was very persistent. So, my colleague gave in and met him at the workshop. Sekali, at the workshop, he kept asking my colleague about me.

Your sister, ka?

Your cousin, ka?

He did not even say much about the car. -_-

Anyway, it is a good thing too. At least he called my colleague as promised and paid for her repair. Actually, if he didn't call, I would have gone to the police.

Nasty Prank Call

2009-08-31T20:24:00.001-07:00

Yesterday morning, my dad got a call,

Dad: Hello

Phone: (a girl crying)

Dad: Hello?

Phone: Daddy!! Please help me!!! (cry like going to die pretty soon)

Dad: (started to panick and thought that it was me in trouble) Don't cry, don't cry, just tell me what has happened...

Apparently, someone "ciak pa bo dai chi zo" (eat too full and nothing else to do) gave my parents a prank call. Luckily, my mom checked the caller id and saw that it was an international call (which is impossible to be me as I left home to work in Bandar). Then, she told my dad that wasn't their daughter calling.

Some people might say this has been going on for a while and not something new. My parents were aware of this con man technique that has been going on and it happened to their friends too.

But, when it happened to you, as a parent, you would immediate want to exchange the whole world for the safety of your child. This is a common reaction for a parent. Needless to say for my parents who love me more than they love themselves.

Initially, I felt so angry that someone would make such a call to my parents. After a moment to exercise my brain, I am pretty blessed that my parents have strong hearts. It still hurt me to see the aftershock on my dad's face. I noticed the relief he felt when he saw me coming home from work. I could imagine how terrified my dad was. My mom told me that she couldn't even stand properly when she was with my dad answering that call.

I think caller id helps a lot this time and super big thanks to my mom's quick thinking.

So, please tell your parents of such incident so that they will know what to do. This blog entry is specially for those who don't really communicate with their family very often. You will be an easy target because your family do not know much of your whereabout.

I think giving your parents an alternate number to reach you is a good idea too. Just in case you are using your mobile phone when they are trying to confirm your safety.

We Hear The Music, Not Always The Words

2009-08-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

How do you know that someone is not sincere with their words?

How come the same words that came out of a different person carried a different meaning?

What I noticed ----> we listen to the tone, the tune, the music. Not really the words.

From the music, we can tell that someone is hiding something.

From the music, we can tell that someone is sad.

From the music, we can tell that someone is happy.

From the music, we can tell that someone is saying something just for the heck of it.

From the music, we can tell that someone is loving us for real.

From the music, we can tell that someone is having a lot of things in their mind.

From the music, I can tell whether someone is being authentic to themselves or not. Can you?

The Answer

2009-08-30T18:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I have gotten the answer that I have always been asking for. I can now assume my plan on full gear and without hesitation. I am very pleased to hear that the answer is going my way.

Thanks mom. XOXO

Letting Go ....

2009-08-28T19:37:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, mom told me that grandma isn't doing well. She could not eat solid food anymore. The doctors told my aunts that they should get prepared for the worst. I know that could only mean one thing.

Saying goodbye to someone so close to you is the hardest thing to do. My mom was so close to tears when she told me the news.

She said that she is going to be away from home for an indefinite time. I understand. I would want her to spend the final moments with grandma too.

Saying goodbye to Tabby was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I did not want to say goodbye but I know I had to. She had to move on. So, I understand the struggle that my mom is going through.... the struggle to say goodbye.... to actually let her go.

This is the time when my family need me most. I am going to be there for them.

You Don't Have To Know It All

2009-08-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

"Being right all the time sounds fun..... But where’s the spark, where’s the growth, where’s the real, well… life? Give up on the idea of knowing it all and enjoy discovering it as you go. You’re not the only one fumbling around; the rest of us are right there with you." by Sara

Do you have anyone in your life who portray an image as though he/she knows it all? Someone who will 'ka si' you on how you should be?

I am sure that person is not a stranger to all of us. We all have someone like that in our life. I have quite a number of know-it-all person.

Their ~~famous~~ trend:

They are the one who know the best.
They have been through everything, thus they know the best.
They feel that they are older and they know the best.
They talk to you as though you know nothing.
They snicker at what you know because they are the one who know it all, so what you know is nothing.
They laugh behind your back at your silliness among their circle of friends.
They have to be the one who is on the right side (and don't you dare putting them on the wrong side, or else they will destroy you.)

What do you do with this kind of people?

Acceptance

2009-08-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

"When you accept a problem and begin to see it as an opportunity, many doors will begin to open." - Rozana Yunos

I can so relate this to myself.

Flawless Life Is Not Perfect

2009-08-26T17:07:00.000-07:00

A friend once said: Don't do it! You will live with resentment!

I get judged a lot for what I did or what I have said. I guess I attract people trying to get me to live a perfect flawless life and do not make mistake.

My life is not flawless. I made mistakes. I tripped and fall with bruises here and there. I bumped into walls, I fall into big longkang. I got lost in a maze. Many more.

To the audience, watching how I live my life, perhaps in their perception, I should have been wiser, I should have been smarter, I should have been more compassionate, I should have been more patient, I should have kept quiet, I should have.... endless.

The thing is, my life may not be flawless but that doesn't mean it is not a perfect one for me: my life is perfect because I live it. I participate in the cloud 9 and bummers moments. I say YAY! for what I score and I say YAY! again for what I have learnt.

Bummers are not mistakes. They are my life experiences. They are the signs that I am living my life.

Happy!!!!

2009-08-25T23:46:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

好戏在后头呢

Good Riddance

2009-08-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

Spring cleaning!

Whatever I don't need anymore, OUT!

Whatever I don't want anymore, OUT!

Whatever I don't use anymore, OUT!

OUT! OUT! OUT!

Hello~~~ Space

Hello~~~ Peace

Hello~~~ New Energy

Hello~~~ Change

别以为

2009-08-24T23:48:00.001-07:00

别以为你什么都懂, ok? 世界上还有很多东西你是不懂的。要不然，你就是在停止学习了，也不再接受成长的机会了。

别以为你失败过的，别人就不会成功。要不然，我们都不会再有什么我们可以在别人身上学到的。

别以为你失败过的，别人就不应该去尝试。要不然，我们都要跟创意说bye bye了。

别以为因为你不开心，我就应该改变我的个人原则。要不然，我会头昏脑胀，世界上那么多人，应该听谁的呢？我不想变成别人，我只做我自己。

别以为我不开心而写的一大堆就是在骂你。我不开心，难到就应该忍吗？忍到几时呢？找你谈？有啊，你有在听吗？双方面都没有人在听，两个都忙着讲自己的立场，还有什么好谈的？这是我的管道，只是刚好不是你喜欢的。

别再自我以为了，可以吗？

我是无法当作没事发生过。我也无法忘记你曾经那样的对我。我平时都对你满好的，但那天你却那样粗鲁的对我说话，我才会对你不客气。我当然知道你会不喜欢。谁会喜欢别人那么不客气的？

我曾经那么没理由的对你好，希望你会成功，也希望你会达到你的梦想，你却那样的对我。一次经验就足够。

被你咬伤，我需要时间疗伤。时间过去了，会不会有痕迹，到时再看吧。

Super Du Lan (Removed)

2009-08-24T17:52:00.000-07:00

I received a long message via FB re a friend was hurt because of this blog entry.

This is my personal blog, of course, it functions like a personal diary to my life experiences. I do not intend to use this blog to please or hurt anyone.

Although the blog entry has been removed, it doesn't change what has happened and what has happened cannot be forgotten. I read many books that say that we all perceive, what has happened in our lives, in our own way. What has happened (what exactly happened) campur with story (emotions and what we think what-has-happened actually mean).

This blog entry did not say that I am right and my friend was wrong. I only stressed that I did not see THE MESSAGE and I did not like being put as though I should have known her whereabout.

Whoever read this blog entry initially must have interpretated the whole message as a personal attack to a friend.

HELLO!!! Tell me that this sort of things never happen to you within your family!!! Don't simply add soy sauce to it and then feed to people to make it seems like it is a personal attack. When something like that happened, it doesn't mean london bridge is falling down, ok?

Geeezzz!

Regardless what has happened, I still choose to see the opportunity the universe has brought to me. Afterall, we move with our "left and right foot".

Kay Po Ji

2009-08-23T02:23:00.000-07:00

Don’t you hate super kay po ji people?

I was at BB and I wanted to make a withdrawal. Being absent minded (from my depression seeing how far behind I am from my goal), I filled in the wrong withdrawal account number.

The teller told me that I have insufficient money in my account to make the withdrawal.

**It is one of those savings accounts that award very puny little interest. Not wise to put your money in account that gives very low interest. You lose out a lot in long run. You may think that you still have the money there and lose sight that inflation will cause your money to depreciate in value. So remember to look for some ways to keep the value of your money above inflation. Just keep sufficient cash flow for you to spend in there. But never your life time savings or money for retirement needs in there. It will never be enough.**

Immediately the Assistant Manageress (who used to work in the Kiarong branch near to where I used to work) said, “Ai yo Max ah”

I just replied with my fake smile, “Ya ba, old already”

My feeling bad with this experience arises from my own regret for not being firm enough to stick to the plan.

How can I let this happen?

Well, no point crying over spilt milk. I have to get myself to move on with the damage control. Don’t worry; when I see the progressive result, I would be more confident that eventually I will make it.

P.S: I am not in a bad situation; I am just feeling bad that I could have done better.

My Goal And My Distance

2009-08-23T02:05:00.000-07:00

Certain people that you hang out with influence you to be a better person and some just divert your attention off your goal.

Time to time, I revisited my goal set for this year and I do analyze how close or how far I am from the goal.

Today is the day that I revisit my goal set.

Guess what.

I am far behind. It sucks!!!

I haven't been using my time wisely. I got diverted. SLAP MYSELF. It is my own fault to choose to listen to people who has not even been THERE and has certainly not done IT. I am angry at myself.

I know that no one cares about my goal more than I do. I should stop listening to people who are not my 9 or 10. Sometimes some ideas SOUND good but not realistic enough to reach. SLAP MYSELF AGAIN.

Grrrrh. It is so easy to know what you know (I read a lot) but it is a different thing to do what you know.

So, what now?

It's time for damage control.

I am going to write up another action plan for the damage control.

No matter what the consequences or what people might say, I am sticking to my damage control action plan fiercely.

New Item In The Canteen's Menu

2009-08-16T23:21:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it??? $1.50 only!!!

$1.50 only leh!!!

What is inside that make it so worth it?

1. One piece of chicken wing (sometimes other parts but guarantee there is one piece of chicken)
2. One scoop of Beef Rendang (take very long time to cook this)
3. One scoop of Sambal Ikan Bilis (same with nasi lemak type)
4. Curried Potatoes (I think this is in the Beef Rendang... usually Beef Rendang comes with potatoes??? No idea)

To me, that looks super yummy. Definitely worth the $1.50.

***************************************************

This one is not for sale.

Ma Ni Chai.

Sorry, I do not know the English name.

Voila!!! The Chef!!! None other than Jason himself.

Flora From The Garden

2009-08-13T01:05:00.000-07:00

My "New" Toy

2009-08-13T01:01:00.000-07:00

Happy!!!!

Smoky Trip To Miri

2009-08-13T00:37:00.000-07:00

Nonnie mentioned that she was inhaling smoke literally the other day (I think it was on Facebook) when she was working in KB.

Well, I was in Miri. Look at how bad was the burning. To make matter worse, the wind was blowing at Brunei's direction. You can feel the heat inside your car. My mom was asking how come the air con wasn't working. "No gas again?" she asked.

No mom, it is the fire outside. -_- (should be obvious ma)

You need to on your light (not spotlight) so that the other passing cars could see you and not run into you. Visibility was near to zero.

Even the town was smoky.

I had to make that trip down to Miri despite the super hot weather because I have to help Brandon on something.

And

My mom wanted to do her eyebrows. She is going to Singapore next week (I will be helping my dad out at his shop because he is going too) for an important occasion.

Secret.

Tell you next episode.

This tauke neo took a long time in doing the eyebrow, I almost climbed up to the other bed and dozed off. Such a challenge to keep my eyes open.

See, how happy my mom was. I know she would not be a happy camper if she didn't get her brow done in time.

How much this cost?

RM$530.00

Kaching! Kaching! (Money fly fly)

Indeed.

Local Business Boo

2009-08-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

I went to a photography shop in Kiulap yesterday to look for a compact flash card.

Yes, I am learning how to use a SLR. There is one sitting at home because Ko Ko and Dad are using more advanced SLR. The one I will be exploring (I am not sure that I know how to use it) is Nikon D70.

I saw one at the shop pricing at $95.00 (16G). I was lazy to check out a few more shops because I serious do not know which shops carry CF cards, most shops only carry the SD cards. So I decided to buy this one.

I asked for discount.

The shop attendant said $5 off.

As I pulled out my card, she said the $5 was back on the price unless I paid by cash.

Why like that?

It is like telling me that the shop could not even afford the puny 3% charges for using the bank's machine.

If you cannot afford it, don't use it!!!

Obviously you are not that BIG enough to extend your service to allow customers to pay with cards.

Don't ask us to service the luxury you cannot afford!!!

Be Authentic With Your Smile

2009-08-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

I was at one of the Cina (I am so hooked with this word) department store a few days ago and I saw a familiar face at the payment counter.

Being friendly, I stopped my pace to smile and wave at that person.

Sekali, that person so cheapo with her smile and gave me a rate 1 smile (as per Smile Standard Chart, shame, I do not have the chart to show you)

Look, I don't care what the impulsive liar has said about you. I still smile and wave at you. I don't care either what the impulsive liar has said about me to you. If she could make up something so horrible about you, she definitely has no hesitation in making up horrible stories about me. She has done that to so many people, I am not surprised that I am in the list too.

I think you are a smart girl, you should know what is out of space kind of story and what has the chance of possibility (hey, we all studied Possibility in our Mathematics, so do your calculation).

If you don't want to smile at me, don't!!!

If you don't feel comfortable smiling back at me, don't!!!

Why pretend?

Why bother?

Can't you be authentic with yourself?

Virgin Trip to Ministry of Finance

2009-08-04T00:05:00.000-07:00

I felt so stupid.

I didn't know that the keypad was outside the lift. I rushed in once I saw the lift door was opened. Cheong ah!!!

In the end, I followed buta the uncle to go to Level 5 and a lady to Level 8.

I wished the lift would miraculously stopped at Level 3. Miracle didn't happen.

Then another uncle walked into the lift. I have to thicken my face and asked, "How do I go to Level 3? It is my first time here."

-_- super paiseh.

That's not all.

I went to the Tempat Temuan (Reception) and asked for Bobby Cina.

The security said she was new to that department. So she asked me to peek at the first door which was a computer lab, in her impression there was a Bobby Cina there.

I peek.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Empty.

Road block to look for Bobby Cina.

The security asked me to wait for her colleague whom she said would be able to help me.

That's when an angel walked through the door.

A thin thin tall tall Cina looking guy with spectacles.

The security: Neh neh tanya ia.

So, I seized the moment and approached him. (When we were little, we were raised not to talk to strangers. That's why la, we all feel paiseh to approach strangers)

Me: Hi, I am looking for Bobby Cina.

Mr. Angel: Oh Bobby? I think he is at the canteen.

Me: (in my head) **Quick! Look very kesian because I don't know where is the canteen**

Me: (Put up a kesian face) I don't know where is the canteen, this is my ~~virgin~~ first trip.

Mr. Angel: Oh. Can you wait? I will go down to the canteen and get him.

Me: Yeah, ok, I can wait. Thank you so much.

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Me: (in my head) ** the canteen must be so damn far away to take him so long**

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Door opened. "Oh great!" I thought. Sekali not him.

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Door opened. Yay! Mr. Angel walked in with someone I totally do not know who he was.

Mr. Angel: Neh, Bobby. (I think he must have seen my puzzled face)

Me: This is not the Bobby Cina. (I hope the ~~Fake~~ Bobby Cina didn't curse me for cutting short his time at the canteen for nothing)

Mr. Angel: Huh? But he is Bobby.

Me: ...... The Bobby said he was the only Bobby Cina here wa.... (really didn't know what else to say besides that)

I was pretty sure I heard Bobby Cina said he worked at Ministry of Finance and he would be sitting at Level 3.

That's when,

Mr. Angel: Ah! Maybe you are looking for Bobby from BAG Network. There are two more Bobby there. (So many meh?)

Me: Is it? (That's good news, more hope) Oh thank you, thank you.

Finally I found Bobby Cina at BAG Network. Stupid me, I should have asked which department he was in.

The ~~fake~~ Bobby Cina was apparently half cina and the Bobby Cina didn't know the existence of ~~fake~~ Bobby Cina.

I felt that I owed ~~fake~~ Bobby Cina an apology. I did cut short his time at the canteen and he did not look like he was pleased. But he was inside working already and I felt that it was rude to take anymore of his time.

I didn't even know Mr. Angel's real name and didn't thank him properly for helping me.

I was Miss No Manners today.

***************************************************************************

Another thing.

Bobby Cina asked me how did ~~fake~~ Bobby Cina look like.

I felt my description was so rude.

Hair thick thick like bushes one, wear spectacles like nerd one.

Seriously, how do you describe someone who look like that in a nice way? I was thinking through my description and believed that there was a better way. There has to be.

Nerd is out.

Geek doesn't sound nice either.

...... What leh?

Bird Not Afraid Of Me

2009-07-22T19:07:00.000-07:00

See?! What's that on my hand???

Believe it or not, I picked up that bird from the road at Empire (near Li Gong).

I was there to visit my brother who was staying there for a night with his beloved.

Eh, I "kay-po" can or not?

EH! I don't "kay-po" on my brother's affairs!!! I "kay-po" want to see the NEW BUILDING. What are you thinking!!!

When it was in my hand, it was making some "chip-chip" sound but wasn't flapping its wings. Maybe it was trying to talk to me, but er I can't speak bird's language. I am no Steve.

I wanted to put it at higher level, on some trees perhaps so that it wouldn't get crushed by the buggy.

ALAS!!! All the trees were out of my reach. I was hesistent to walk all the way back to my brother's room. The room has a nice balcony which would be perfect for the bird.

(EH, mind you, I am not short at all.)

Not knowing what else to do. I decided to drive home. I didn't want to be late for dinner. Perhaps I would think of something to do when I reached home.

Guess what?

The bird just slept on my fingers. No matter how bumpy the ride was, our road wasn't that fantastic, it just kept on sleeping.

Good thing that my mom planted quite a number of short trees at home. I left her at one of the tentacles from the long bean. (I know it is not called the tentacles, it just looked like one of those from horror movies.)

Overpaid Staff

2009-07-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

It is f***ing annoying working with retarded colleague. She isn't really retarded but act like one. This is the most irritating part.

HELLO!!! Ever heard of digital working style? We are now living mostly on virtual. Upgrade please!

I cannot believe that there are people who are still using stock cards for stock control. It is so f***ing long winded!!!

1. You have to write a physical memo to release the stock.

2. You have to fill in the DATE, PURPOSE, NUMBER OF STOCK TAKEN, BALANCE and finally plant your signature.

Isn't the date, the purpose, and the number already been stated in the memo???

Why the f*** we have to fill in your stupid stock card again!!!

Don't tell me you are physically challenged as well!!! (Besides being mentally challenged)

You should calculate the balance of the stock available in your store!!! Not expecting us to calculate for you!!!

You are paid a f***ing amount of money and this is the quality you can give????

You never once think that you need to think of ways how to upgrade your service?

You S***!!! You S*** big time!!!

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Ok, I have been swearing like mad just now. I really needed that. I could have type out the whole f word and the s word but I choose to be a little discreet (this time).

Sometimes it sucks to realise that somebody is not doing a good job and is paid better. Plus, they can get away with their shortcomings because they take time to polish the apples.

That's one thing I don't do. Apple polishing.

When I am nice to someone, I am genuinely nice to them. When I am not nice to you, you know I hate you big time. I don't normally take up my time to hate someone. When I do, you know you are real rotten as a person.

UPDATES:
My friend, Valerie has forwarded me a link to Dr Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture. One of the point is : Always see the good in people.

That gave me the A-Ha moment on what I rant earlier before.

I like the point he made which says the road blocks are there for a reason. That reminded me what Steve Job has said about connecting the dots.

Ok, I am going to start seeing good in people. I will try it out.

The Positive Change of Environment

2009-07-21T17:04:00.000-07:00

(image from Visiber website)

After the installation of this pewter frame, I find that I am able to finish the tasks that are listed in my mind. Tasks that usually I would procrastinate.

That's not the only positive change that has happened. For a few days I was wondering whether or not I should settle my phone bills of two months even though the amount is very little. Yes, I don't really use much of my phone.

Yesterday, I received a text from my service provider that they have credited $100 into my phone bills in celebration of their 14th years of anniversary. How cool is that!!! That amount is more than enough to cover my phone bills. I feel so lucky.

Mom has been nice to the family members after the installation of the pewter frame. Last time, she would look like she was really unhappy with all the family members. Her famous line was, "Eat, eat, eat, once wake up only know to eat!" whenever she saw my uncle coming into the kitchen. After the pewter was installed, I heard her saying, "(You) must be hungry, but the breakfast is not done yet." That's a change! And a darn good one!

At work, my boss is finally seeing the importance of my work and is now taking action. Last time I used to do everything alone and they expected me to achieve everything ALONE. Yet they speak highly of TEAMWORK. -_-

A used to be negative person, whom I have to see everyday, is now reading Law of Attraction and watching The Secret. I can see the positive change in that person too. Now, at least, I don't dread whenever I have to see this person.

This pewter definitely worth my dime. No regrets. Things are getting better and better.

Never Ever Help Someone Who Is Negative

2009-07-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

This happened quite a long time ago. It is one of those lessons that I learnt in life that I will remember for the rest of my life.

An employee (now an ex employee) was admiring that her colleague was called for a job interview from one of the prestigious company in town. She was really unhappy with her (mine too) employer. She looked like she was unhappy, constantly arguing with them and making the employer looked bad. I told her that she stood a chance in getting the job as well. She went on saying that she didn't have the right qualification. "Well, you have the experience, that always is something," I said and I always believe that working experience is a great advantage. And she did apply for the job.

The call for job interview didn't happen immediately after she handed in her job application. It happened a year later.

We were always on the good side, until one day, she suddenly transformed into another person.

She started accusing me that I was planning all along to get rid of her from the company that we were working. She said that it was the reason why I had encouraged her to go for the job from the prestigious company. She even said that I master planned the whole processes by planting in her head making her believe that she wanted to leave.

I was puzzled with her massive change and asked her whether she had a bad day that day. She said that I was insulting her and that she could get a lawyer to sue me for what I have said. She also said that I was talking to her like I was talking to a little child.

The last line that I have ever spoken to her was, "XXXX, just be happy." She was anger with that and assured me with a stern voice that she was.

Does a happy person behave the way she does?

Now, she wanted to leave the prestigious company and rejoin the employer she talked so badly about. Nope, she hasn't changed a bit. She is still blaming other people (me specifically) for everything.

She is already a mother and she is still like that. This shows me that people don't really get wiser with age.

Green Green Greed

2009-07-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

I have an A-HA moment. The Accounts Executive is a GREEDY MONSTER.

Why?

1. She took my order. (Read previous post)

2. She took a side table from the sofa set which was ordered by SP Officer. She said she had no idea what to do with it (THEN DON'T TAKE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!)

3. I ordered a book about quality management. It arrived. A few of us, who are interested in reading the book ASAP, made a few copies. She was complaining that how come there wasn't a copy for her. When we were asking who would read the book, she was saying that she wasn't interested. Now when she saw what we have, she started to complain.

4. She always want whatever software that I have in my laptop to be installed in hers. "Seriously, do you need those software?" I felt like asking.

5. Other officers ordered for new office chairs, she added into the order for hers, even though hers was still working fine.

However, I also found out that the Green Monster was terrified of learning new things. She would always find excuses not to be there for any training or meetings.

I was very very angry with the issue that what I have ordered was dispatched to someone who didn't even place any order or having the intention to do so. Then I recalled what Bill Gates has said.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, MOVE ON.

I will let this matter R.I.P. It is afterall the unprofessionalism of certain people. I just happened to be in it to open up my eyes and recognized who they are.

Barbarians At Workplace

2009-07-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

I placed an order for a replacement. My laptop's motherboard connector was not communicating with my dvd drive. The solution? Get an external one.

After a few months of painfully patience waiting, it finally arrived. So what's the problem?

The IT Department dispatched my order to the Accounts Executive.

The Accounts Executive used it as though it was hers and told me that in case I do need it, I am always welcome to borrow it from her.

That's so wrong!!!

1. It was my replacement!!! How can the IT Department dispatched my order to someone who didn't even place the order???

2. Doesn't the Accounts Executive possess any brains or conscience that the external DVD Drive is not hers? And certainly not her place to say what she has said? If she wants an upgrade to her CD drive, she should put in her order for an upgrade.

What's wrong with this people?!

I blasted the Senior IT Technician. I think I was too easy with my blast. He still didn't correct his wrong doing and return to me what I have ordered.

He HAS asked the Accounts Executive to return to HIM the external DVD drive.

Chances are -------------------------------------> He wants it too.

Well, I am going to say the same thing here,

YOU DIDN'T ORDER THAT!!! I DID!!! YOU MORON!!!

Half Glass Full or Half Glass Empty?

2009-07-08T18:33:00.000-07:00

Your office does not provide clean drinking water. An unprofitable spiritual organization under the same ownership of your office and situated in the same compound as your office has clean drinking water. You go over there to get your supply of clean drinking water.

Not long afterwards, you hear a lot of grumbling from the staff working in the unprofitable spiritual organization because you are getting your supply of drinking water. You ignored it.

Then you see

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ONLY FOR XXXX STAFF ONLY
(sorry I cannot upload the picture of the sign that they have written because I don't want to ignite the spark for an endless round of spiritual war)

My questions are:

1. If the office and the unprofitable spititual organization is under the same ownership, is it necessary to draw that line? There is no I or YOU in the word TEAMWORK. You do see a WE in there.

2. Is water that expensive to give?' If water is too much for you to share with others, what else can we expect from you or your employer?

3. The water that they have, isn't it from the same country that we are all in? Shall we set a rule that only the citizens of the country are eligible for the water since it is from their country?

4. As representatives of the unprofitable spiritual organization, should you even write that sign? Are you sending out a message that "What's mine is mine, no sharing" on behalf of your employer? How's that going to reflect on the spiritual teachings?

This is definitely not an act out of love and compassion. It is an act out of fear, negativity and scarcity.

My Attempt To Make Penget

2009-06-16T21:11:00.001-07:00

I was supposed to make something that looked like that.

BUT

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Turned out to look like this.

Didn't taste as great as I thought it would be. Maybe I should have used fresh coconut cream.

Yummy Banana Cake

2009-06-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

This Banana Cake has never failed to please anyone. It has been one of my favourite recipes. My mom planted her own banana, so time to time I do get great supply of banana, giving me the best excuse to bake this. I must give credits to my dear friend, Joann, who shared with me this recipe.

My dad and uncle finished up the whole tray of banana cake. Literally nothing left.

What is this??

2009-06-16T20:34:00.000-07:00

What do you call this MF insect?

Apparently I am allergic to its sting. I can only take one shot and if I get two shot from this MF fella, I have to go to the emergency unit.

It can literally puncture a hole in your skin in order to suck your blood.

Going Nowhere

2009-05-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

This is the most hilarious comments to my friend's status post in FB.

Simon: 4 more days to go...

Me: Go where?

Friend 1: Do what?

Friend 2: I know! I know!

Friend 1: You do?

Simon: Know what? Go where?

Me: -_- very funny.

网上找真爱？

2009-05-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

网上找真爱？那是好还是坏？我觉得都有啦。

也许我十五岁的时候会相信，可是真的很难相信一个快要三十二的大男孩还会相信在网上可以找到真爱哦。

对，有些人就是在网上认识而且还结婚咯，过了几年都还在一起。但，这种成功机会不是很乐宽。被骗的人多得很。

当然，我不是说不在网上认识的就会好些。

我只知道我面对的是人，人都会有种种变化，在不同的时间或不同的环境下。今天认识的，明天也许会变成不一样的人。明明认识了几年的朋友，都会为了件事情，变成了陌生人（就是不再是你认识的那个人）。

当我遇到这位大男孩希望在网上找到真爱时，我想对他说：“真爱不是像在买菜。不是到那家超级市场就可以找到。” 但我没说，我还是希望他会找到他想要的。

我并不是个很懂得浪漫的人。我也不是个“希望有个白马王子出现在眼前”的女生。对我来说，面包是最重要的，也是最有保障的。

两个人会结婚，只不过是两个人的决定要一起生活，一起组织一个属以两个人的家。我不会去幻想，结婚时，要穿怎样的一件礼服，怎样的晚装。这些对我都不重要。

也许，是人生经验教我的。也许，是时间改变了我对“爱”的看法。

我不会为了一个人昏了头，散了魂。我对我的人生都比较喜欢脚踏实地，不希望太多的起起落落。平平安安的过日子就很好了。

The Rough Tide To Ride

2009-05-14T00:20:00.000-07:00

It is the time again, the rough tide is here.

Riding with the rough tide is definitely draining my good energy. I am trying my best to keep my head above the water.

Sometimes I do question the big question of why. Why do I have to go through what I have to go through. No one has the answer. Not even myself.

Is this a test? A test for my compassion? Or is this a test of how much I could stomach and endure? It could also be a test for my ability to control the urge to explode.

I don't know how many people are facing the same situation in life as I am. It seems unimportant to talk about, yet it is definitely bothering. It is something I could do without, live without. If only I could. It is not an option.

Sometimes I do wonder whether the quick way out is the answer. I have tried that too. The process was unbearable. Took too long and caused embarassment later on.

How else to deal with a situation that will not go away and it is not an option to simply clicking the delete button?

Is there a solution?

I sure hope so.

I am doing my best each day. Perhaps one day, I will have the answer.

Affordable Chickpea (Besan) Flour

2009-04-14T00:45:00.000-07:00

Hurray!!! I finally bought a $2.20 per 500g Chickpea (Besan) Flour from an Indian shop near The Arch. I am so proud of myself for keep on researching instead of buying an Australian version for almost $8.00.

I didn't know that the Indian use Besan Flour as well. Otherwise I would have gotten it earlier. -_- Lack of knowledge.

I promised a friend to make gluten free bread for her since it is not available, not even the bread mix, in Brunei Darussalam. I failed many times in making gluten free bread that I have to get Orgran bread mix from Kuching. Those who travel to Kuching very often, you can get the Orgran gluten free bread mix from the supermarket in Pavillion. I think that is the only place you can get it. They also carry muffin mix, chocolate cake mix and pancake mix. Those aren't my problem since I can easily whizz up with combination of rice, corn, potato starch, soy, and tapioca starch flour. Thanks to the Easy Gluten Free Cookbook from Bette Hagman. Thanks to Joann who helped me to get the book.

Baking gluten free bread, the fail rate is very high because the gluten is missing. Since that's what we cannot have, we have to find substitute. Xantham gum, which I have bought and flown in from States, helps. Also without gluten, the bread is often crumbly when not toasted.

Most gluten free bread recipes call for eggs. Without the gluten, the bread needs the eggs for leavening (raise). I don't like eggs. I don't like the yolk taste. I don't know why I just don't like eggs. I can take eggs (when my brain doesn't remember the yolk taste) but not very often (otherwise my brain will remember the yolk taste). Besides, with the eggs, the bread tastes more like a cake. Bread doesn't need to have eggs in it. It doesn't need that eggy taste. Plus, eggs are not exactly good for us.

Luckily, Supa Save carries Orgran Egg Replacer. I am going to use that to replace the eggs and hopefully it would work beautifully.

I will post the picture of my (successful) bread when it is done.

Of course I am not going to put up picture of failed bread. It is just a waste of space. LOL

UPDATES:
My camera's battery is dead. I haven't been using my camera for ages. Sorry.

Focus On Your Dream

2009-04-13T22:18:00.000-07:00

I have been practising in focusing on my dream for quite some time now. It is so true that once you focus on your dream and nothing else, you are at peace and empowered.

I read from "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" that the cost of our dream is the amount of time that we spent on other people's dreams.

I didn't quite get that statement at first. I get it that I should row my own boat. I just didn't know how powerful that statement could be when you finally get it.

It gets easier as I practice. Whatever people say no longer mean much to me. In the past I would worry for them, endlessly pondering for possible solutions, or feel upset when someone was being mean. I can't say that I don't feel anything now. What I can say is that I feel more at peace.

I forgot where I have heard that what other did, it was between them and their higher authority. It wasn't ours to be responsible for. We are only responsible for ourselves. What we do, what we say, what is our intention, etc.

Here, I would like to share the following nursery song we all used to sing which has a deeper meaning that what it seem:

Row row row your boat (You row your own boat, not others)
Gently down the stream (Look towards the future, not the past, taking baby steps each time)
Merrily merrily merrily merrily (Be happy)
Life is just a dream (Life is just a dream, we live, we die, so treasure it while we still have it)

Dare To Love

2009-04-07T01:16:00.000-07:00

If you have been hurt before and couldn't open your heart to love anyone, not even yourself, then follow the url listed and read the article written by Jacy Wee, my favourite blogger and also another cat lover, who wrote an article on her own love path to meet her James Bond.

http://www.globesl.com/events/passionnite/daretolove

Age Catching Up?

2009-03-06T20:53:00.000-08:00

Finally, I have located where my facial toner was.

It was all the time on the shelf next to the bathroom. I left it there when I came back from Chinese New Year trip.

Can you believe that it has been sitting there for that long and I just didn't (and couldn't) see it?

Yeah. I have been living life without using toner. It is not a good routine for good skin. I am not born with heavenly good skin. I only get good skin after following good routine to take care of it. Without the toner, I didn't even dare putting make up on my face. Thus, my days without make up. Everyone was wondering what had happened to me.

Perhaps age is really catching up on me. Sigh. Aging. Nobody can stop it. The only way is to embrace it with grace.

Longkang Leadership

2009-03-06T15:44:00.000-08:00

I was at the DP's chamber and guess what? Apparently the Longkang Boss took out my letter to continue my service and showed it to the DP. Not only that, the Longkang Boss even commented that I "lose out" to him.

In what?

Youth? He is so near to burial, 6 feet down under. After he experiences his painful dying moments.

Beauty? He must be gay to have thought that I "lose out" in beauty.

Height? He is not that tall for a man. Oh wait, he is not so much a man to have said something like that.

Knowledge? Er, I think there is no comparison in this one. The knowledge of the past era, he has it. The knowledge of now era, I have it. How to compare something that is of different timeline?

Income level? Look, I am not at his age. I still have a few more decades to reach that age. We will compare again when I am there. That is if he is still sticking around like cockroaches (they don't die easily).

Academic qualification? He graduated from a university in UK. I graduated from Sarawak twinning a university in UK. He was on scholarship (he is the citizen). I was on my parents (I am not the citizen). How to compare? If I also get the scholarship, you think I wouldn't choose to study in the most expensive country? Note: scholarship only given to citizen (past, my time included).

Position title? He seized the title by force. He didn't earn it. In the end, he doesn't even know the job tasks that come along with the position. He even said that he didn't know the job. Astonishing, isn't it? I know my job well and I don't really care about position title. It comes with the job. I work hard to earn it, I don't walk over people to get it. I don't wear a hat that is bigger than my head. I also don't sit in the same level for long, I move and upgrade. So, how to compare when two persons function differently?

I get it that most private firms implement longkang leadership. In the end, the company also goes towards small or big or crooked longkang (it is all longkangs).

Hopefully, I would get to sign on to study the course that I always wanted to take very soon. Once certified, I aim to join much more well established corporation.

Getting tired working for cowboy firms. In the end, you don't get to go anywhere. You still end up in the ranch.

Regret?! TOO LATE

2009-03-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

Don't bother passing message here and there re how regretful you are.

Eat up the mess you have created. Just swallow it.

What? I so heartless? Then have you ever thought of the today you when you were out there creating lies about me when I was whole heartedly your friend because you said you didn't have one?

You acted so well while playing out your little drama show. We fell for it. We thought it was all real. Only to find out in the end, YOU ARE A PHONY.

YOU ARE A FUCKING PHONY PERSON.

After I found out about everything, I finally understood why people HATE you. Why you don't have a true friend. You are willing to risk them all for your fucking drama.

You are sick.

You are sick in your head.

You need help.

Seriously. Go get some professional help.

I don't hate you. You are insignificant for me to even hate you.

First Day After Yoga

2009-03-02T16:24:00.000-08:00

I am so STIFF. I might as well be a corpse.

I don't experience excruciating pain. I do have slightly sore muscle around my back. I guess I don't really use the muscle there.

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How do you utilize your back muscle anyway? *Scratch head*

You know what else I got from the yoga?

A book on health and natural remedies written by the guru's family. I will show you the picture of the book when I uploaded it. I don't think you can buy this book elsewhere.

Oh I also found out that the yoga that I was learning is called Asanas. It focuses mainly on breathing which majority of us do not do it the right way when we are not in our deep sleep.

Yoga Lesson

2009-03-01T21:21:00.000-08:00

Yay~!

I am going for yoga class after work.

This is the only high point of my life right now.

I can't swim this year, according to the supernatural, I am prone to water related accident this year due to excessive of water element in my chart.

Call me superstitious. I am not putting myself to any unnecessary risk. Sides, I have waited for this yoga class for two years and finally managed to get an opening. I definitely wouldn't miss it for anything. And yoga class cost a lot (BND$250.00). So I am not going to take up any other sport for the time being (trying to keep my expenses at the possible minimum).

Headache

2009-03-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

Ai yo~ 烦恼

Same problem that exits in most people on earth.

Ya. Money not enough.

My mouth was fast to promise a lot of things that I have to honour afterwards.

I think (from now on) I should pay more attention to what I am going to promise next so that I do not have unnecessary promises to honour.

Sweet Karma

2009-02-27T17:29:00.000-08:00

You know what happened to the bride who joined in the fun of being ungrateful?

Landslide.

I know the phrase "what goes around, comes around" but I didn't expect this to happen to her. By the way, the picture does not represent the real thing. It is only for illustration.

Relax. No one was hurt. I think. I haven't heard anyone mentioning that so I assumed no one was hurt --- physically. I bet the sound of ka-cing (dollar) going out --- HURT. I heard that it would cost a bomb to repair the damages.

Plus, there was technical problem faced at the business side. Data died and went to heaven. RIP.

What you put out there really come right back at you. No joke about this. Spooky as it is, it's real. I testify it myself. So when I was sending out negativity, I must be ready to face the karma when it hits back. Of course when I send out positivity, I do get favourable return.

The key is CHOICE.

What is the choice. Every choice comes hand in hand with consequences. Think twice before the act.

$2,000 Poorer

2009-02-27T17:10:00.000-08:00

Somebody just got himself $2,000 richer on my dad's expense.

Somebody got the nerve to walk into my dad's shop and took the $2,000 in broad daylight.

This somebody must be really familiar with the office since he knows where my dad keeps his stash.

Yes. My dad likes to keep jars and jars of coins.

Yes. My dad keeps his stash hidden somewhere in the office.

No. He does not keep it in Jacob's cracker tin.

I would love to kill this bastard for causing my dad to be upset and my mom to start the "karaoke".

When thinking twice, I decided not to be upset over this issue. He must have needed the money so badly to have done something like this which will make him feel so much worse about himself.

It's for survival. I guess.

At least no one was hurt.

It is only money that was lost. No blood shed. No arms missing.

I gave some compensation to my mom so that she wouldn't be so upset over my dad.

I have to live on very tight budget this month so that there won't be any delay on my goals.

Friends, I am sorry that I wouldn't be hanging out much. In fact, I haven't been. :-)

Simplicity - Simply ME

Going dormant for a while

The Time Of The Month

Scam Email on Hotmail

Be Nice No More

I Want A Break

Not treating me right, not letting me leave

Bye 2010... Hello 2011

Merry Christmas

My New Eyebrow

Mckenzie is MISSING

The Parting

Socialize and Entertaining - Compulsory! @_@

I Have Been Lazy

*Poof* Here I Am

Wheatgrass + Worms

Live To Be Killed

Single. Content. Happy.

Pain In The Ass To Get Connected

The Wonder of False Lashes

To Understand To Change

Aloe Vera + Period = Disaster

The Japanese Carps Paintings

Free At Last

What I Want For Christmas

What Is It?

Waiting....

I Am Not DEAD

I Was Dubbed!!!

Funny Guy

Sale At JPMC

This Is It

Hanging Out With Si Lai

Procrastinating

Imbalance Qi at Home

Having A Family Without Marriage

Forgetful Beck

Friend? I Doubt it

Delusional Human Being: Mark Rammell

Attracting ....

I Am A Racist?

Surprise For Today

Gluten Free Living

My Very Own Cendol

It Was Fun

Hooking Up Girls with Random Phone Chat Up?

You Know What You Know, So What?

Apologize If You Really Mean It (Otherwise DON'T)

Stay True To Yourself

Not So Nice Message ---------> Well Received :)

Delivering Not So Nice Message

Happy Birthday!!!

Visualization Came True

Hungry Ghost Article: As Long As You Have LOVE In You

New Buy

Cheeky Man

Nasty Prank Call

We Hear The Music, Not Always The Words

The Answer

Letting Go ....

You Don't Have To Know It All

Acceptance

Flawless Life Is Not Perfect

Happy!!!!

Good Riddance

别以为

Super Du Lan (Removed)

Kay Po Ji

My Goal And My Distance

New Item In The Canteen's Menu

Flora From The Garden

My "New" Toy

Smoky Trip To Miri

Local Business Boo

Be Authentic With Your Smile

Virgin Trip to Ministry of Finance

Bird Not Afraid Of Me

Overpaid Staff

The Positive Change of Environment

Never Ever Help Someone Who Is Negative

Poof Here I Am